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Monster Tears
This is the eighth episode of Vale, season 5. Written by Rainy. Read, enjoy, & comment! ''Monster Tears'' Something was haunting my dreams. A ring of fire. Golden-orange, burning steady, encircling what appeared to be an enormous black pit. I didn't know what I was looking at, but it scared me. A band of fire around a black hole just didn't seem like a very encouraging dream to have. I'd been having the same dream for five nights, and I was getting tired of it. As I lay awake on the sixth night, trying to get my heartbeat to slow down so I could go back to sleep, I could hear cats talking in quiet voices near me. "Minkears? Are you awake?" "Bluebird?" "Hi." "Hi." My fur prickled with embarrassment; I didn't think this was a conversation I should be listening to, and yet I had no way out. I couldn't just get up and walk out of my nest, but the whole sleeping thing wasn't quite working out either. "You've been avoiding me." "No I haven't." "Why have you been avoiding me?" "I... I just thought you might need some time to yourself after all that's happened." An exasperated sigh. "I don't need time alone. I need... I need my friends around me." There was a pause, then a bitter laugh. "Okay. I don't have any freaking friends. Except you. I needed you this past week, but you've shut me out completely." "I haven't shut you out." "You think it's your fault, what happened with Duskwatcher." Minkears's voice was laden with pain as she said, "You killed your brother because of me." "No. I would've done it for you, I don't deny it, but I killed him because I had to end it. I was in denial for way too long, and I had to make a choice. Duskwatcher died the day Shinecloud did. I regret what he became, and I regret what I had to become to stop him. It has torn me in two, what I did. I can't put these pieces back together. I've been all alone, and you don't even know... the nightmares... the doubts, the guilt, it's been like something out of hell." "I can't put those pieces back together either," Minkears murmured heartbrokenly. "Please. I needed you. I need you." Silence. I huddled deeper into my nest, willing myself to fall asleep and stop eavesdropping on this super personal conversation which Minkears would be mortified to know I'd overheard. "I know you think we're worlds apart, but we're not. I'm not who I used to be, that shallow, stupid tom who only cared what people thought of him. Minkears, you're my best friend, and I'm not afraid to let down my pride and say that I'm just... lost without you." "Okay." "What?" "Okay. What else do you want me to say? I can't fix anything. Please don't put that responsibility on me. But I'm here. I'll always be here." Minutes passed with no one saying anything, and I finally dared to raise my head. In the thin beams of moonlight that filtered into the warriors' den, I saw that Bluebird had crawled over to Minkears's nest. Her head was resting on his shoulders, his body pressed tightly to hers. Both of them were fast asleep, and Bluebird's face looked peaceful for the first time in a long time. Feeling distinctly lonely, I let my chin drop onto my nest again, where my thoughts turned from the ring of fire and the black hole to Ryan... what I wouldn't give for him to be beside me, to see those golden eyes, to hear him say he needed me... to let him know that I needed him... - - - - "Ryan. Stop. I thought I heard something." Ryan frowned at Lily. "It's the middle of the night. We've been walking for so long--" "Yeah, because you took us in the wrong direction and we got lost," she interrupted. "--and you've been jumping at every sound for the past hour. It's just your imagination." Lily pursed her lips in that way she always did when she was about to lecture him. "I've been jumping at every sound because I've been on guard. I think we're being followed. And I'm right." She wheeled around and stared intently into the tallgrass behind them. "Come out." Ryan heaved a sigh and patted her back with his tail. "Lily, please stop talking to the grass. There is no one following..." He trailed off as the grass began moving. Lily let out a snort of triumph as the silhouette of a cat emerged, slinking from between the strands. The cat straightened, the light falling on his dark brown coat and glittering in his brown eyes. "I apologize," he said in a melodious, rich voice with a faint accent. "I know following you was rude, but I didn't know if you would attempt to decapitate me if I made my presence known. I've met ruder cats than the pair of you--though I do think it was a bit unkind of you, Lily, to tell your brother that he resembles a soggy piece of leaf drenched in sap whenever he mentions, er, what was her name, Breezeflight." Both Ryan and Lily stared at him, stupefied. "How do you know so much about us?" demanded Ryan. Shrugging, the tom said, "Been following you for an hour, remember? Picked up on a few things. My name's Josh, by the way." "Why are you following us?" "You said you're heading for a Clan." Though Josh's easygoing aura didn't fade, something cold entered his eyes. "I'm looking for one." "Why?" "They took something of mine." Puzzled, Ryan said, "I don't think we're talking about the same Clan. SpringClan, where we're going, wouldn't take something of yours." "No, not SpringClan. They were called GreenClan." Lily flinched. "GreenClan," she hissed, hatred thickening her voice. "Not friends of yours, I presume." "They killed our parents, so no," said Ryan shortly. An odd look crossed Josh's face. "They killed my... friend. The cat I loved." "I'm sorry." "And I'm sorry your parents are dead, but as I think we both know, that apology doesn't solve anything," Josh said, though not impolitely. "So you want to find the Clan for vengeance?" asked Ryan. Josh nodded. "One cat in particular. Her name is Ariel. She's the one who killed Jewel." Ariel. The name struck Ryan as familiar. "Was she... blind, by any chance?" "Blind? No, of course not. She was a strange she-cat, though. It was rumored that she had special powers." Lily and Ryan exchanged bewildered looks. "But was she a ginger-and-white she-cat? Did she have a sister named Fire?" "Yes." Josh looked as confused as they felt. "Why, did you know her?" "Are you sure it was Ariel who killed Jewel?" "Positive." This doesn't make sense. From what Breezeflight and Fire had told him, Ariel had been blind all her life and would never have hurt a fly. Not to mention the glaring fact that Ariel and Fire had been a part of the League, not GreenClan. GreenClan and the League were sworn enemies; Ryan's parents' fates were proof of that. But Ariel had been killed by the League itself, Ryan realized with a chill. He had thought this was because the League was trying to punish Fire for running away. They all had. Now he wondered if the League had killed Ariel for a different reason... Maybe because they had discovered she was really GreenClan... There were still so many holes in this theory; Ryan knew he was just groping for answers in the dark. What was going on? Whatever it was, Ryan realized he couldn't let Josh know what had happened to Ariel. He and Lily would have to wait till they got back to SpringClan and could question Fire. If he told Josh Ariel was dead, if he expressed all his doubts that she was even the same cat he was looking for, then he lost his chance to get answers. And he needed answers. Breezeflight trusted Fire, as far as he knew. If there was something about her past or her sister's past that she was hiding, something potentially deadly, then Breezeflight could be in danger. "The last we saw GreenClan, they were on SpringClan's borders," Ryan confessed, feeling a sharp pang of guilt for the situation he had left Breezeflight in yet again. Clan in danger, best friend dead. Depressed and alone. She had needed him, and he left. He needed her too. He missed everything about her, her bright green eyes, her sarcasm and sharp tongue, her intelligence, how easy it was to talk to her... Stop it. You're going home to her, and everything will be all right when you see her. Deep down, he knew that wasn't true, but he suppressed the doubt, because he was tired and beaten down, and he needed something to hope for. "Can I travel with you two, then? I promise, if SpringClan doesn't want to take me in, I can leave when you guys get there. But I have to find GreenClan. I need to avenge Jewel... please..." The cat you're looking for is already dead, kid. But Ryan only nodded. He had morals, of course. And they were telling him to tell Josh the truth about Ariel--at least, the truth as he knew it. But he also had the image of a midnight-pelted she-cat permanently burned into his heart. First he had to discover the truth about Fire and her family. If Breezeflight was in danger, and he let his chance at helping her walk away from them... I'll tell Josh when we get to SpringClan, he decided. After we talk to Fire. Lily was watching him intently. Disapproval mingled with resignation in her eyes as she read his decision in his face. If that's how it must be, she seemed to say, inclining her chin slightly. To Josh, she said, "We'll take you to SpringClan with us." Josh looked grateful, but his eyes were still grim. This was, after all, a mission of murder for him. Ryan couldn't let himself be affected by Josh's hatred right now. This was a mission of love for him, and the sooner they got to SpringClan the better. No more wrong turns, he vowed to himself. I know where home lies. - - - - "A ring of fire?" asked Specklenose for the umpteenth time. "Yes. She already told you like eleven times," Minkears said exasperatedly. "And quit talking with your mouth full," she added. Cammy grinned. "I was just about to say that." "Shut up." Specklenose licked her ear affectionately. "They'll be announcing kits any day now," Minkears whispered to me amusedly. I grinned and opened my mouth to make a quip about her and Bluebird, then remembered the conversation I'd overheard last night, and shut it abruptly. Minkears gave me a questioning look, her brow knitting together, but I just shook my head gently at her. "Let them enjoy being in love." She wrinkled her nose. "Don't say stuff like that; you sound like an old, bitter she-cat who's lost all chance of it." "Let's be honest, I probably have." Minkears looked thoughtful. "Do you really think there'll only ever be one cat for you?" I looked at her in surprise. "Name one tom in this Clan who would be a suitable match for me." She shrugged. "Fair enough, but I'm just saying. The first tom you loved wasn't a Clan tom anyway. Maybe fate just didn't want you two together. Maybe another one will come along." I glared at her. "Who said I loved Ryan?" Giving me a coy look, she said, "Who said anything about Ryan at all? You're the one who said his name." Caught and aware of it, I turned red and stuck my tongue out at her. "I don't want him, or anyone else. You know something, Minkears? I don't need him. I thought I did for so long, but I think it's almost better that he left. It showed me how strong I am." Minkears stopped laughing. "Breezeflight," she said gently. "We all need someone. It doesn't make you any less strong." Once again resisting the temptation to start talking about how lovely bluebirds were, I said with a shrug, "It just didn't work out for me." Easily seeing through my facade of indifference, Minkears said, "Aren't the things we love supposed to always come back?" "I thought the things we love were never supposed to leave." Feeling the sting of tears at the backs of my eyes, I stood up and muttered, "I'm just gonna go... for a walk." "Breezeflight, I'm sorry--" "Don't be. It's not your fault." It wasn't her fault, but I still didn't feel like talking to her, or anyone. I stayed out of the camp for the rest of the day, and though I tried to convince myself that I wasn't being a sulky kit by hunting and telling myself I was being productive, I absolutely was. By the time I got back home, most cats were done with their evening meal. Though the air was cold, cats lined the entrances of dens, sharing tongues, talking, or playing. Poolpaw and Petalpaw played with the older apprentices, who were teaching them the game of moss-ball. I caught Brightpaw's eye, and she waved to me before resuming lecturing Poolpaw about rules in moss-ball that forbade sitting on your opponent. Fire and Cammy sat beside each other, sharing tongues, which greatly surprised me. Despite the fact that Fire had become a firm part of our friend group by now, I had yet to see her completely let her guard down. She always gave off the air of untold secrets. Seeing her relaxed and happy, helping groom Cammy's bushy coat of fur, was an unusual and refreshing sight. I supposed that Cammy, with her sweet and cheery personality, really could lower anyone's guard. Nearby, Nighthawk and Eveningfall were exchanging tips about mentoring apprentices. Cranelegs sat outside the nursery with his mate Cloverflower, the tops of Owlkit and Vixenkit's fuzzy heads just visible between them. I smiled at the way the two cats had adopted two new kits as their own; the kits couldn't have been in better paws. An orphan myself, my heart especially warmed at the sight of cats stepping up to raise the parentless; it was what Ivyrose and Goldenburst had done for me, and as a result I had known love and family firsthand. May you never lose that like I did, I silently wished Owlkit and Vixenkit. The two kits peeked over Cloverflower's paws at that instant, and I swear for a second our eyes connected. I didn't know why I felt that connection with them, only that I did. I wanted to protect them; they shouldn't be blamed for their parents' sins, or suffer because of their parents' mistakes. If Viperstar could ever do one thing right, I would want it to be to let these kits grow up in SpringClan, unbothered. I knew that probably wouldn't happen. Viperstar would be outraged to learn that the kits of his mate's affair were alive. But if the time came when he tried to hunt Owlkit and Vixenkit down, I hoped that we would have the courage to stand against him, to not turn our backs on the innocent. "Breezeflight?" Blossomleaf brushed up against me, her voice tentative but her eyes urgent. "May I speak with you for a minute?" "Huh? Oh, sure." "I've been searching for you all day. No one knew where you were," she said as she lead me towards the medicine cat's den. I felt my ears burning with embarrassment. "I've been... hunting."'' And sulking about my pathetic love life.'' Changing the subject, I glanced around the medicine cat's den and said, "Where's Lionpatch?" "Gathering some herbs. Air's beginning to get chillier. We'll have our first snow soon, and then it'll be too late to harvest them." Blossomleaf sat down. "Minkears told me about your dream." "She did?" "Yes. I'm sorry--I swear we weren't talking behind your back. But I'm glad she told me; I have a feeling it's very important." I nodded and gave her a small smile, letting her know I wasn't mad at all. "I have that feeling too; I just don't know how or what it means. A ring of fire?" Blossomleaf tilted her head, her face scrunched in concentration. I muttered in a hushed voice, "You know, I've been thinking like... What if it's a sign that I'm not going to StarClan? That I'm going to the Dark Forest." She looked surprised. "Why on Earth would you think that?" "I just--" Already shaking her head, she said, "That's not how it works Breezeflight, and you know it. I don't think it bodes very well, though. I just can't think what it means." "I think it's... linked to Viperstar in some way. I mean, he's the biggest threat we face right now, isn't he?" Blossomleaf's eyes narrowed. "I sure hope so. We can't deal with anything bigger than GreenClan." "Well, life isn't that considerate of us," I muttered. Something rustled at the entrance of the medicine cat's den, and Lionpatch poked his head in. Blossomleaf smiled, about to greet her friend, but the ginger tom shook his head frantically and motioned for us to come outside. When we did, I immediately wished I hadn't. Viperstar stood in the camp entrance, flanked by several GreenClan warriors. The black tom's eyes were furious as he faced down Dewstar, who stood in front of all the SpringClan cats, Goldenburst at his side. "The two GreenClan kits you are harboring are mine," Viperstar said. "We will not force you into the ultimate battle now, but you must give me my kits back, or pay for your crime. Surely SpringClan will not stoop so low as to rob a father of his kits." "Don't listen to him!" I shouted. "They're not his kits! Odessa cheated on him with that GreenClan cat who died, Rabbitfur." "What? Didn't Odessa kill Rabbitfur?" asked a confused-looking Eveningfall. "Yes, but she didn't mean to. She meant to kill me and my friends, because we overheard their plans to kill any cat who stood in the way of their family... plans that involved setting fire to the camp, poisoning food to try to assassinate Viperstar, food that instead went to a she-cat called Mimsie..." Realization was dawning in my Clanmates' eyes. "You want to kill Owlkit and Vixenkit," said Cranelegs, sounding enraged as he moved to stand in front of the nursery. "So what? Do you really think your leader will let his warriors die to protect kits that shouldn't have even been born?" hissed Viperstar. "It would be insanity." Dewstar raised his chin. Though this was the first major decision he would make as leader, he showed no hesitation or uncertainty. "It would be the right thing to do," he announced. "You must leave our territory at once, Viperstar. Just by coming here, you are trespassing and have provoked us. Now you threaten us and try to rob us of our kits? I don't think so. If you don't leave, I will set my warriors on you." Viperstar's eyes narrowed. "You will regret this. You're too new of a leader to understand how much it will cost you, and you are wagering your Clan's lives." "Every warrior here would die before letting you touch a kit or elder of SpringClan." "And every queen," chimed in Cloverflower. For a second I was afraid Dewstar would be angry at her for interrupting. But instead he gave a proud nod as the rest of SpringClan erupted into shouts--not childish insults towards GreenClan, but messages of support for Dewstar. I needn't have worried about my Clan abandoning Owlkit or Vixenkit, I realized. We were warriors. "I am sorry it has to come to this, then," Viperstar said, motioning to his warriors as they prepared to attack. "Don't cry your monster tears. We don't want your false sympathy. We want surrender or blood." Dewstar raced forward to meet Viperstar with a snarl. "SpringClan, attack!" The End Category:Vale